"Are you sure you want to do this? The effects are irreversible," the doctor asked, and I nodded. She sighed and gave me the pill.
Ana, Elsie, and Emily smiled at me reassuringly, but it just made me nervous. If I was going to terminate my pregnancy, then I'd much appreciate it if four people weren't staring at me as if I were about to commit the worst crime ever.
I took my book and pen and wrote down that I'd prefer to do this in solitary. Elsie read it and nodded. "Sorry, we'll give you some space then. We'll be waiting outside in case you need anything," she said, and they turned to leave.
"You'll surely experience some pain and discomfort when the pill kicks in, but if it becomes unbearable or you feel like something's wrong, alert me instantly," the doctor advised, and I nodded. They all left the room, finally leaving me to do what I've wanted to do since I found out about this pregnancy.
I don't know why, but I feel very nervous about this; there's an uncanny feeling in my lower belly, and my palms are becoming sweaty. I look at my still-flat stomach one last time, silently apologizing to the child whose life I was about to take.
"Come on, Evelyn, please think about this. Don't do it. It's our pup we're talking about," Tara advised, adding to my worries. But I'd already decided to do this, so I was certainly going to see it through to the end.
I picked up the pill and the glass of water on the table with shaky hands. I closed my eyes and slowly brought the pill to my mouth but found it difficult to part my lips. I tried once more but figured out that I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.
I threw the pill and the glass of water to the floor. The glass shattered, and the water spilled, but I couldn't care about that right now and broke into a myriad of silent sobbing. I just couldn't do it. I had been so adamant about ending this pregnancy even though it had hurt everyone. Elsie, Kayden, Emily, and even Tara had pleaded with me to reconsider.