"Hey, you okay?" Rhodes's phone is placed back in his pocket and his attention is placed directly on me. "You've gone pretty pale," he observes. I nod my head, swallowing the lump in my throat.
"I don't think I'm going to enjoy flying," I meekly reply. I'm not going to let him in on my inner ramblings; he'll either think I'm dumb or crazy. His gaze softens as he nods his head slightly, reaching his hand over to hold onto mine.
"Everyone gets nervous the first time they fly, it's totally normal. It's really not as bad as you think, and I'll be right here with you the whole time." His thumb begins to gently brush over the back of my hand, the rhythm is soothing, and it gives me something to focus on. That's what I need, distraction.
"You're gonna have to distract me when it gets all bumpy and everything," I tell him quietly. His lips turn upwards into a soft smile.
"I can handle that," he says. We're interrupted as the flight attendants begin to go through their preflight procedures. I pay close attention and memorize their instructions, while most of the other passengers seem too busy to care. I know it's a speech that Rhodes's listened to hundreds of times but he pays attention, the whole time still brushing his thumb against the back of my hand. The plane begins to move without warning, and I grip the armrest tightly as a reflex.
"Plane's just backing up, babe, we're still on the ground," Rhodes tells me, but not in a condescending way, more as reassurance. I nod and lean my head back against the seat as we begin to slowly make our way towards the runway.
"Okay, now we're going to start speeding up, and then we will lift off the ground and get into the air," Rhodes leans his head over to tell me. My heart starts to pound as his instructions come to life, and I grip onto the seat and try not to squeeze Rhodes's hand too tightly as we hurtle down the runway. Just as the pressure builds and the plane starts to shake, I feel the front of the plane lift off the ground followed by the back half. Oh, I hate this, I fucking hate this. The plane dips and sways as it begins to go higher and higher off the ground.
"Y'okay?" It's only when I don't see Rhodes's face that I realize I've closed my eyes and squeezed them tightly shut. I open them and turn to him, shaking my head. Despite my seatbelt, I feel like at any minute the bottom of the plane will fall off and I'll be free falling towards the ground.