I felt as if my heart was being torn to pieces. The ache in my chest was so intense I rubbed the spot over my heart. My wolf raged inside me, almost overpowering my control of him. He wanted to burst free and run after his mate to claim her. It wasn’t he that rejected her but me—our human side that operated with logic that had kept our pack safe for years.
That was me, always putting the pack first. I’d never been selfish. Good Alphas couldn’t be, and I had strived to be just that—a good Alpha. A fair one. A logical one. Never leading with my emotions but with wisdom. All I’d ever wanted was to fill my father’s shoes—which were big shoes to fill. He was one of the best to ever lead our pack. The people loved him, and the elders respected him.
For the last seven years, I’d put my life on hold, having inherited the title of Alpha much younger than was typical. At the young age of twenty-one, I took over from my father. Some of the elders of the pack balked at the idea at first, but the people knew who my father raised me to be, and they had faith. I’d worked hard to prove myself, and I had in every way. I had the pack’s trust and respect, even the ones who had been skeptical.
I’d practically been living for my pack. Every waking moment of my days went into working to preserve the well-being and safety of my people. They depended on me, and I’d dedicated my life to them in honor of my father. I hadn’t even taken the time to grieve my parents, who were murdered just days before I took on the tremendous responsibility of Alpha.
The temptation to be selfish, to live for me, to find my happiness was never present until I met her. My fated mate walked into my life when I had doubted she even existed. I’d wanted to claim her with every fiber of my being, but I had to put my pack first and consider what they’d think about their Alpha taking a half-human mate. Worse, the daughter of a hunter. The same group that murdered my parents. I’d had to take a step back. I had to deprive myself of the sheer joy I’d felt meeting my mate for the first time. I couldn’t have her. I couldn’t put my needs above my pack.
Rejecting my mate was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do. I hated myself for doing it a second time in front of the pack, but I had to show them I stood with them no matter what. My loyalty was to the people I’d spent my entire life around rather than a half-breed who showed up out of nowhere. However, the decisions I’d had to make were slowly killing me on the inside. My wolf was furious, in pain, and depressed. It had barely surfaced since I rejected Sydney. It had come back to life again when she showed up here today, and it was desperate to go after her.
“We can’t,” I said with a sigh.
“Why the hell not?”