I snuck out the front door almost as soon as I returned downstairs. Only a quick goodbye to Heather and Chris detained me. Bert seemed to realize my need to get out of there and, thankfully, followed me out.
When we climbed into his truck, he was mercifully quiet too, not taxing me with talk. Just as well, given that my head was so full of Dylan’s words, I doubted I’d be able to form one coherent sentence. I kept seeing his furrowed brow as he confessed to me that he wasn’t happy. My breath had hitched in my chest to witness the familiar tension thrumming through his body at being cornered. My heart ached for him as he told me he’d agreed to this match with Lucy only out of a sense of duty. Part of me was infuriated at his disclosure too because I had thought that by walking away and freeing him from a mate he hadn’t chosen, he’d have found happiness.
Confusion whipped through me. But he hadn’t. He seemed even more at war with himself than when we had been together.
When we arrived at Bert’s, he showed me my room, the double bed already made up for me, complete with a towel and washcloth laid out.
“Fancy some food, or do you wanna catch up on some sleep?” Bert asked. I’d been surviving without any proper sleep for a couple of days and said, “I think I’ll just check on Fern, then get some shut-eye.” Bert answered with a ready smile. “Say hello from me then, and I’ll see you in the morning.”
As my friend clicked the door shut behind him, the quietness of the room seemed to shiver with Dylan’s low voice. “Neither I… nor my wolf has feelings for Lucy. Whereas–”
My skin prickled at the memory of his intense dark eyes and the deep rumble of his voice, and I wondered what he’d been about to say. The suddenness with which he’d pressed me back into the wall earlier, embracing me and breathing me in, had dazed me. But the movement had been so jarringly similar to the one night we’d shared together when he’d shoved me against the wall and kissed me. The memory had sent a warning through me. Dylan had told me way back then that that night was a mistake, that he didn’t want me. With the painful recollection ringing through me, this time, I’d been able to push Dylan away from me.
I’d forced myself to focus on my breathing, subduing my body into emulating a calm I didn’t feel when Dylan asked me about my life as if I could sum it up so easily. Of course, if I’d been able to be honest, I’d have told him that my greatest joy was being a mom. But I’d had to tamp the thought down as it had surfaced. Fern had given me the clarity of mind I needed in the moments I’d spent with Dylan. Even as he’d poured out how he was only marrying Lucy for the pack, I had kept the thought of my daughter at the forefront of my mind. Above everything else, I needed to protect Fern. To keep her a secret from the Starsmoon pack. And from Dylan.