Tiffany
My head is a blank slate. When Little Larry first told me he wanted me to be his new mommy, I felt a pang of guilt. First, because I was taking him away from his mother and what he'd been used to. But I felt honored too. Now, though, everything is changing. I don't think I'm ready just yet to be that person for him, and marrying his father isn't exactly saying that, right?
I can't believe we never talked about the idea of having kids. I want kids of my own, of course. Five years, I realize now, is a freakishly long time to be celibate and not have my own family. Five years means I'll be standing static with a man, a son, that can never be mine.
"What are you thinking about?" Larry sends the text next after mine arrives.
I scrunch my face at him and type an answer. "Larry wants a little sister or brother. Doesn't that concern you?"
He glares at me when the message pops up on his phone, and I see him open his mouth to say something. My mind goes into overdrive. What is he going to say? That I'm getting ahead of myself? That a child isn't in the equation? I wait and wait and wait…
Little Larry nudges me, and I look away from Larry to see his son, who's looking at me with those adorable eyes.
"Can I go play?" he asks, wide-eyed. I want to tell him to stay a bit, but we'll leave soon, and in a way, he might never see those people again, so I nod and watch him scurry again.