TashaYou picked a really bad day to skip school.
MelanieI have a bug.
MelanieMy head’s been in the toilet all morning.
TashaWell, prepare your stomach. I don’t have good news.
MelanieWhat happened??
MelanieIs someone pooping in all the lockers again?
TashaWorse. Mr. Donaldson assigned our final project today.
MelanieWHAT!? That’s not supposed to start until May!
TashaHe bumped it up.
TashaWanted to take us by surprise.
TashaHe said: “In the real world, you don’t always have time to prepare.”
MelanieBut we’re right in the middle of midterms!
MelanieWhat is he thinking!?
TashaIt gets worse.
TashaWe were assigned partners…
MelanieAND? Who am I with??
TashaAre you still by the toilet?
MelanieOh god. Who is it?
TashaBen Watson.
MelanieNO!!
TashaYes. I’m sorry, Mel.
MelanieBUT I HATE BEN WATSON!!
MelanieEveryone knows that!
TashaEveryone except Donaldson, apparently.
MelanieI’ll talk to him. He’s got to change his mind.
TashaI don’t think that’s going to work.
TashaWe all have partners already.
TashaAnd our babies.
MelanieThe babies were already handed out?!
TashaYup. They’re pretty lifelike.
TashaKinda cute.
MelanieOMG! This is a nightmare!
TashaIt’s only a couple weeks. You can get through it.
TashaAlthough…
TashaBen was tossing the baby like a football in the hallway after class.
MelanieOf course he was 🙄
MelanieI wish I could say that surprises me.
MelanieBUT TYPICAL BEN!!
TashaI’d reach out to him if I were you.
TashaThis project is 30% of our grade…
TashaYou should make sure he’s taking it seriously.
MelanieBen Watson doesn’t take anything seriously.
MelanieAll he does is goof around 🤦♀️
5 minutes later, I text Ben.
MelanieHey Ben. We need to talk about this project.
BenWell, well, well…
BenIf it isn’t the mother of my child.
MelanieDon’t call me that.
BenHow about baby mama?
MelanieNO. Cut the crap.
MelanieWe need to figure out how we’re going to get through these 2 weeks.
BenFirst, I’d like an apology.
BenAnd so would Lemon Head.
MelanieExcuse me??
MelanieWho is Lemon Head?
BenPshh, some mom you are.
BenPicture incoming…
Ben sends me a picture of their baby.
MelanieOH MY GOD!
MelanieWTF is it wearing?!
BenIt’s not an “IT”. It’s a SHE.
BenAnd she’s wearing my dog’s Halloween costume from a few years ago.
BenCan’t exactly have her walking around naked, can we?
MelanieSo you dressed her like a TACO?!
BenHey, I’m doing the best I can. It isn’t easy being a single parent.
BenWhich brings me back to my original point…
BenYou owe me and Lemon Head an apology.
MelanieFOR WHAT?!
BenI had to take care of her all by myself today.
BenNever took you for the absentee type, Mel.
MelanieI had no idea this project was starting today!
MelanieAnd for your information, I have a stomach bug.
MelanieAnd talking to you certainly isn’t helping!
BenOuch. So mean.
BenYou should try being nicer.
BenYou’re not making a good impression on Lemon Head.
MelanieWOULD YOU STOP CALLING IT LEMON HEAD?!
BenWhy?
BenYou’ve seen the pic. Her head looks remarkably like a lemon.
MelanieStop. Donaldson needs to know we’re taking this seriously!
MelanieI can’t afford a bad grade.
BenWhat’s a bad grade to you again?
BenA 99?
MelanieIgnoring that.
MelanieMeet me tomorrow at Cafe Luna at 7am.
MelanieBring the project outline. We need to get a schedule figured out.
BenIs that all we are to you?
BenA schedule?
MelanieCAN IT, WATSON.