Mr. Armstrong is towering above me…
His face a hard mask.
He turns his angry gaze to the crowd surrounding me.
Mr. ArmstrongI’ll deal with the rest of you later.
Mr. ArmstrongGet to class.
Mr. ArmstrongYou’re all truant!
Everyone cringes…
Then one by one, they slink away.
Glaring at me as they leave.
The principal’s jaw is tense, and his left eye twitches.
RainaHow much did you hear?
Mr. ArmstrongEvery word.
My stomach sinks like a stone.
This is bad.
Mr. ArmstrongLet’s go.
I follow Mr. Armstrong into his office…
Shut the door behind me, and sit down.
He doesn’t say anything at first.
He just stares at me.
I squirm under his gaze…
Looking into his eyes…
I’m reminded of Jay.
He looks sad.
I start to open my mouth…
Unsure of what will come out.
But then—
Mr. ArmstrongI remember Eleanor.
I snap my mouth shut…
Shocked by this revelation.
Mr. ArmstrongI was a teacher back then.
Mr. ArmstrongFresh out of grad school.
Mr. ArmstrongShe was a star student in my class…
Mr. ArmstrongAnd her death hit me hard.
I watch him carefully.
He looks…anguished.
Mr. ArmstrongI remember the girls’ confessions, too.
Mr. ArmstrongIt was very strange.
Mr. ArmstrongThe way they all spontaneously confessed.
He finally looks up at me.
Mr. ArmstrongNow I understand why.
Mr. ArmstrongAlthough, I have to admit…
Mr. ArmstrongA glowing locker, a secret pen…
Mr. ArmstrongIt’s all very hard for me to believe.
I nod.
He blows out a shocked breath, shaking his head.
Mr. ArmstrongIf it didn’t happen to me…
Mr. ArmstrongI might not have believed it.
I slowly nod again.
Mr. ArmstrongWhat you did was wrong.
Mr. ArmstrongVery wrong.
Mr. ArmstrongYou’ve hurt a lot of people.
I gulp.
Why isn’t Mr. Armstrong yelling at me?
Why isn’t he expelling me?
Maybe there’s a chance he’ll let me go…
If I just apologize.
I’m about to do it…
But then my eyes land on a picture of him and Jay with his mom…
And all my anger returns.
I explode.
RainaI didn’t do anything wrong!
RainaYou all deserved it!
RainaAll the secrets I revealed should never have been hidden!
RainaYou shouldn’t have kept that secret from Jay all these years!
RainaIf you had just told him the truth, maybe you would still have a son!
Mr. Armstrong slams his fist on his desk.
Mr. ArmstrongENOUGH!
His chest heaves…
And I think he’s going to kick me out of school right then and there…
But he sits down…
Puts his head in his hands…
And starts crying.
It breaks my heart.
And that’s when I feel it for the first time since all this began…
Remorse.
As I watch the father of the man I love breaking down in front of my eyes…
Guilt washes over me.
What have I done?
We just sit there like that for I don’t know how long.
Me staring at Mr. Armstrong…
Wallowing in regret…
As he weeps into his hands.
Finally, he stops crying and looks up at me.
He’s eerily calm.
He pulls a slip of paper out of his desk…
Writes my name on it…
And hands it to me.
Mr. ArmstrongYou’re expelled.
The bell rings just as I leave his office.
Students start filing out of class.
And judging by the looks they throw me…
I can tell the news has already spread.
A cold wind chills my bones…
As I trudge slowly down the hallway.
My head hangs low…
Heavy under the weight of all their stares.
Kids I’ve never even met before glare at me…
Whisper and jeer as I walk by.
Some even yell out insults.
I’m not invisible anymore.
Everyone knows my name.
Raina Sen.
The most hated girl in school.
Ms. Akins is standing by her classroom door, glaring.
My whole body shakes uncontrollably.
I’m freezing cold.
I walk by the cool kids’ lockers…
And they’re all there.
Summer and Marcus.
Vivi and Briar.
Peter, Shelly, and Quinn.
Jay.
They don’t say a word.
They just watch as I walk past their lockers.
I burn with shame.
I can’t even bear to look at them.
I shiver and shake as I walk back to my old locker to pick up my stuff.
It’s scattered all over the floor.
My head spins.
Without thinking, I open my locker door…
And shut myself inside.
I hear the bell ring, and the hallways clear out.
I bury my head in my hands.
And cry.
A warm glow lights my face.
I look up and gasp.
All the names are gone.
And in their place, are just the words:
“To Thine Own Self Be True.”
It’s a message from Eleanor.
And it’s something my mother tried to tell me, too.
I know then what I have to do.
I wipe my eyes and step out of my locker.
I walk up to the wall near the doorway…
And pull the fire alarm.
I stand in the center of the courtyard as the entire school files outside.
I wave my hands and yell to get everyone’s attention.
Everyone gathers around me, confused.
I take a deep breath…
And go for it.
RainaEveryone, listen up!
RainaI know you’ve all probably heard a strange rumor by now…
RainaAnd I’m here to tell you…
RainaIt’s true.
RainaAll of it.
RainaI’m the one behind all the secrets…
RainaIt’s not a truth serum.
RainaIt’s a magic locker…
RainaHaunted by Eleanor Buckley’s ghost.
RainaAll the people who revealed their secrets…
RainaWere under the spell of Eleanor’s magic locker.
I find the faces of all my victims in the crowd…
And look them in the eyes, one by one.
RainaI wrote each of your names in Eleanor’s locker…
RainaTo humiliate you…
RainaBecause you had all humiliated me.
RainaWhat I did was wrong.
RainaI hurt all of you.
RainaAnd I’m sorry.
RainaBut through all of this, I’ve learned something.
RainaIf we all had the courage to be ourselves—
RainaTo be TRUE to ourselves…
RainaTo be honest with one another about who we really are…
RainaNone of this would have happened.
RainaI wish I had that courage before.
RainaBut starting now…
RainaI’m going to be true to myself.
I scan the crowd and find Jay.
I look him right in the eyes.
A cold wind sweeps by me.
RainaJay Armstrong…
RainaI’ve been madly, hopelessly in love with you since we slept together three years ago.
RainaSo much so…
RainaThat I have notebooks filled with drawings of you.
As I say those words…
All the cold leaves my body.
And warmth fills me.
I turn to Summer next.
RainaSummer Hart, you were my best friend.
RainaAnd when you left me for Jay…
RainaThat really sucked.
RainaAnd while I hated you for how you treated me…
RainaA part of me always missed you.
Summer stares at me…blank-faced.
I let her know my feelings are genuine…
And then I look away.
RainaShelly, you’re an amazing person.
RainaYou were nice to me when no one else was.
RainaBut in the spirit of being honest…
Raina— I know you’re all earthy and stuff — but you need to take a shower, girl!
RainaPlease don’t take that in the wrong way.
RainaYou’re a wonderful person…
RainaAnd I wish I were as confident as you.
I turn to Briar.
RainaBriar, for years you bullied me…
RainaBut then, you became my friend.
RainaI know it was probably just to hurt Summer…
RainaAnd I get that.
RainaBut I just want to say…there’s a really good side to you, too.
RainaYou should be that person.
RainaBecause that girl is beautiful…and sweet.
RainaQuinn, you’re an incredible writer.
RainaAnd I know one day you’re going to be famous.
RainaAnd…I’m just sorry I lied to you.
RainaIt was wrong.
I go through all the people I hurt, and I bare my soul to each and every one of them.
Once I’m done, there’s pin-drop silence.
I look out in the crowd, expectantly.
I wait…
Any moment now…
Someone will speak.
And bare their soul, too.
But nothing happens.
Everyone just stares at me.
A few people laugh.
They start to chatter among themselves.
And then they turn away from me.
Just then, Mr. Armstrong walks up.
He doesn’t even look my way.
Mr. ArmstrongFalse alarm.
Mr. ArmstrongEverybody back to class.
Mr. ArmstrongRaina, go home.
The crowd disperses.
And I’m left standing there…
Alone.
My mom is waiting at the door when I get home.
MomRaina, I spoke with Mr. Armstrong.
MomHe’s told me everything.
I sigh heavily…
Unable to meet her eyes.
She must be so disappointed in me.
I would be if I were her.
I go to speak, but she cuts me off.
MomLet’s go inside.
I follow, knowing I need to face the music.
We sit next to each other on the couch…
And I think she’s going to start yelling at me…
But to my surprise, she puts a gentle hand on my knee.
MomWhat happened, Raina?
I suck in a breath…
Willing myself not to burst into tears.
RainaWell, a couple weeks ago I got trapped inside my locker and—
MomNo, Raina.
MomI don’t care about that stupid locker.
MomI want to know what happened to *you.*
MomWhy did you behave like this?
Her words cause the dam to break…
And I end up wailing in her arms.
The whole sad story comes out.
About how lonely I’ve been the past few years.
About how much I wanted revenge.
Especially on Summer.
I tell her about Jay…
— Well, not everything—
But the important part.
That I love him.
And now, after what I did, I’ve lost him.
RainaYou were right, Mom.
RainaI should have been true to myself.
RainaThe girl I’ve been the past two weeks…
RainaThat’s not who I am.
RainaI don’t know who I am anymore.
My mom rubs soothing circles on my back.
MomI know who you are.
MomYou’re my smart girl, Raina.
MomYou’ve made a terrible mistake, yes…
MomBut you learned your lesson, no?
I bawl in her arms.
I don’t deserve her love and understanding…
But it’s exactly what I need in this moment.
RainaI’m so sorry, Mom.
RainaFor everything.
RainaI didn’t mean to hurt everyone so badly.
MomI know, sweetie.
MomYou just learn from this mistake.
MomAnd then move forward.
I pull back, sniffling.
RainaHow can I move forward from this?
RainaI’m expelled and everyone hates me.
RainaMy life is ruined!
My mom reaches behind her and pulls out a couple of brochures.
RainaWhat’s this?
I look down at the front cover…
And my eyes go wide.
RainaArt school?!
RainaIn L.A.?!
My mom smiles.
MomFirst you must get G.E.D, of course.
MomBut then, after that…
MomI did some researching.
MomAnd these are the best art schools in the U.S.
RainaI can’t believe this…
RainaYou and Dad would actually let me go to art school?
My parents always expected me to get into an Ivy League college…
So this is definitely a shock.
She pulls me into a hug.
MomIf you’re going to be true to yourself…
MomThen I have to let you.
I squeeze her tight against me…
Finally seeing a small light at the end of a very dark tunnel.
One month later…
I lean back against the pool house couch…
Staring down at my latest drawing.
I don’t want to brag but…
I’m pretty sure it’s my best one yet.
Not that the person it’s for will ever see it.
Ugh. Sadness threatens to engulf me…
So I force my mind onto happier things…
Like art school.
Putting the drawing aside…
I pick up one of the brochures scattered around me.
I still haven’t decided where I want to go…
So I’ve applied to all of them.
I can’t wait to—
A knock on the door has me looking up.
The last person I ever expected to see is standing in the doorway.
RainaSummer?
RainaWhat are you doing here?
She gives me a half smile.
SummerCan I come in?
RainaSure…
She steps inside, then takes her time looking around.
SummerWow, this place hasn’t changed.
She taps her foot on the ground.
SummerStill hiding candy in the floorboards?
I don’t respond to her question…
I’m too confused.
Why would she be here?
Why would she be talking to me?
Did she visit Jay then just decide to drop by on a whim?
That thought makes my stomach hurt.
RainaLook, I don’t know what you’re doing here.
RainaBut you should just go back to Jay’s—
SummerI haven’t talked to Jay in weeks.
Her answer surprises me.
RainaYou haven’t?
SummerNo.
SummerAnd I’m here because I want to talk to you.
SummerCan I sit down?
I almost say no.
There’s so much ugliness between us…
That I don’t think anything good would come of it.
But when I look closely at her face…
I see a glimpse of the old Summer.
The Summer who used to be my friend.
RainaSure.
She sits down with a heavy sigh.
SummerWell, I thought I’d take this secret to my grave.
SummerBut with recent events and all…
SummerI figured I should come clean.
Summer“Be true to myself” and all that.
RainaWhat are you talking about?
She bites her lip…
Then turns to meet my eyes.
SummerI’m sorry.
Two words I’ve waited years for.
They hit me like a ton of bricks…
Rendering me speechless.
SummerI’m sorry for how I treated you these past few years.
SummerFor going out of my way to be mean to you.
SummerI got caught up in being popular…
SummerAnd I lost myself somewhere along the way.
It’s a pretty speech.
But it doesn’t erase years of bullying and torment.
I should tell her that but…
…I did destroy her life.
I’m no angel, either.
RainaI’m sorry, too.
RainaThe whole locker thing…it got out of control.
RainaI was blinded by rage.
RainaI’ve been so…angry at you, Summer.
Her eyes fill with tears.
SummerWhich brings me to why I’m here, Raina…
SummerMost of all, I’m sorry about Jay.
I meet her eyes…
My own filling with tears, too.
SummerI need to tell you something.
RainaWhat is it?
She laughs humorously…
Then blows out a big breath.
SummerRaina…we were best friends.
SummerWe did everything together.
SummerTold each other everything.
SummerBut back then…I wanted more.
I blink at her.
Not quite understanding.
She grabs my hand.
SummerI was in love with you, Raina.
SummerAnd I was jealous of Jay.
SummerSo I told him those lies to keep you guys apart…
SummerBut then one thing led to another with him…
SummerAnd the lie got so big.
SummerI admit, I liked being Jay Armstrong’s girlfriend.
She looks down.
SummerBut it wasn’t Jay I wanted.
SummerIt was you.
My hand comes up to cover my mouth.
I’m stunned.
Legit bowled over with shock.
RainaSo, you’re…gay?
She smiles.
SummerI was figuring it out back then.
SummerI know now that I’m bi.
I’m suddenly filled with anger.
RainaI had no idea!
RainaWhy didn’t you just tell me the truth?!
RainaThis whole thing could have been avoided!
SummerI was scared.
Summer**** I’m scared telling you now.
SummerBut you deserve to know.
I stand up and pace to the door.
Then a thought hits me.
RainaWait, are you still…in love with me?
A wide smile comes over her face.
SummerNo.
SummerI love Marcus.
SummerHe and I…we’re together now.
Well ****.
I have no idea what to say.
But I guess…
RainaCongratulations.
SummerThank you.
She stands up and comes to stand in front of me.
SummerI’m hoping…
SummerWe can move forward from this.
SummerWe have a **** past…
SummerBut I miss you.
SummerI always have.
SummerSo what do you say? Friends?
I tell the truth.
Because I’m being true to myself…
And I don’t want to lie anymore.
RainaI want that more than anything.
We move at the same time…
And suddenly, Summer Hart and I are hugging.
A weight I didn’t even know was there lifts off my shoulders.
I pull back and smile.
RainaBut what about the rest of your group?
RainaThey all hate me.
She rolls her eyes.
SummerThey’ll get over it.
SummerBecause in the end…
SummerWe all think the magic locker is pretty cool!
We both laugh…
And spend another hour talking.
When she gets up to go…
Her eyes land on the drawing I was working on.
SummerWhat’s this?
My face turns red.
RainaUm…it’s nothing.
RainaI’ll probably just throw it away.
She nods and walks to the door.
But then she turns back, a knowing smile on her face.
SummerYou should give it to him.
And then she leaves, without waiting for my response.
Later that night…
When Mr. Armstrong opens the door…
He’s dressed head to toe in drag.
For a moment, I’m startled…
But then I smile.
Because good for him.
At least something good came of this whole debacle.
Mr. ArmstrongRaina…
His eyes are wide.
Mr. ArmstrongThis is a…surprise.
RainaI know.
RainaI…came to apologize.
He watches me, still and silent.
He’ll probably kick me out.
Tell me to get lost.
It’s nothing less than I deserve.
But then, he smooths a hand down his dress and smiles.
Mr. ArmstrongApology accepted.
RainaThanks.
Since I’m on such a roll…
RainaIs Jay home?
Mr. ArmstrongI’m sorry, he’s not.
Mr. ArmstrongHe’s out with friends.
My heart sinks.
He’s not here.
It was a stupid idea anyway…
To try and give Jay this drawing.
After everything I’ve done…
He probably never wants to see me again.
I force a smile and start backing away.
RainaOh okay, well…thanks anyway.
I’m about to turn and go…
But his next words stop me short.
Mr. ArmstrongI’m the one who should be thanking you.
My eyebrows fly up my forehead.
RainaMe?
RainaWhy?
Mr. ArmstrongBecause you saved my relationship with my son.
Mr. ArmstrongThanks to the magic locker…
Mr. ArmstrongI can walk around the house like this.
Mr. ArmstrongBe true to myself.
I look at his outfit.
He isn’t lying.
He’s head to toe in silk and satin.
He swirls his dress when he sees me admiring him.
Mr. ArmstrongI met Mrs. Armstrong at a drag club years ago.
Mr. ArmstrongAfter she died, it was the only place I could find solace.
Mr. ArmstrongIt was the music and the freedom of self-expression…
Mr. ArmstrongI was able to let go…
Mr. ArmstrongAnd still have a part of Diane with me.
Mr. ArmstrongShe and I always kept that part of our lives a secret.
Mr. ArmstrongI wanted Jay to see me as a model father…
Mr. ArmstrongOr, what I thought was one.
Mr. ArmstrongI’ve learned a lot since then.
I give him a smile.
RainaYou’re a great father just the way you are.
RainaI know Jay is really proud of you.
Mr. Armstrong smiles.
Mr. ArmstrongWant me to tell him you came by?
RainaUh no, that’s okay.
RainaI’ll catch up with him later.
He nods, and then we say our goodbyes.
Well, that’s that.
I’ll probably never see Jay again.
I’ll be off to L.A. soon and—
A newspaper on the stoop suddenly catches my eye.
I pick it up and gasp.
My mom told me about it…
But I had no idea it was already out.
Quinn’s article.
On the front page of a national newspaper.
It’s a tell-all about the magic locker and the glowing pen.
She details everything that happened at our school…
And the story has spread like wildfire.
Most people don’t believe it.
They say it’s trash news.
Still, it’s being talked about all over the country.
Theories and opinions have been running wild.
As for me?
I never want to see that locker again.
Shelly and her family kept the pen as an heirloom…
And I’m glad it will be kept safe.
Away from girls like me…
Who use it for the wrong reasons.
Just then, a cold wind blows across my face.
I close my eyes, and send a silent apology to Eleanor.
JayRaina?
JayWhat are you doing here?
I spin around, just in time to see Jay walking up the driveway.
My heart soars with a heady mix of joy and pain at seeing him again.
He stops when he’s a few feet away.
His face is guarded.
RainaJay…hi.
RainaYour dad told me you were out.
He nods.
He’s scanning my face…
His arms tense by his side.
I have no idea what he’s thinking.
He eventually nods.
JayI was.
JayAt an open mic.
A genuine smile crosses my face.
RainaThat’s great!
RainaSo you’ve been writing again?
JayYeah…I have.
He seems distracted.
He probably just wants me to leave.
I spare him the trouble of telling me to get my *** off his property.
RainaCool. Well uh anyway, I’ll just—
Jay— What’s that?
JayA drawing?
RainaUm…yeah.
I hide it behind my back…
Suddenly shy about giving it to him.
JayI figured.
JayI see the pool house light on late a lot.
He’s been looking over at my pool house?
Did he think about stopping by?
RainaI’ve been studying too.
RainaTo get my G.E.D.
I suddenly want to share my good news.
He and I had such big plans…
And I want him to know.
RainaAnd then…I’m going to L.A.
RainaFor art school.
A beat passes, and his expression transforms.
JayNo kidding!
JayThat’s amazing, Raina.
JayIt’s what you always wanted.
I want to say that HE is what I always wanted…
But I don’t.
There’s a wall between us.
And I don’t think it’s one that could ever come down.
RainaThanks.
RainaI’m looking forward to it.
RainaGetting out of here…
RainaStarting fresh.
JayI hear you.
JayI’m looking forward to that, too.
I tilt my head, my lips curling into a smile.
RainaOh yeah?
He runs his hands through his hair…
And gives me a lopsided smile.
JayYeah…I’m going to college in L.A.
JayTo study creative writing.
JayMaybe I’ll see you there?
I bite my lip…
Trying to hide the outrageous smile on my face.
This is better than nothing.
He probably doesn’t mean anything by it…
But it gives me a small kernel of hope.
Before I can think better of it…
I take the piece of paper from behind my back…
And give him the drawing.
It’s a picture of his dad — dressed in drag — hugging Jay.
We stare at each other…
Many things unsaid between us.
And this is how our story will end.
Because after what I did…
There’s no other way.
I release the last of my expectations…
And start backing away.
RainaI’ll see ya, Jay.
JayYeah, see ya.
I turn and force myself to hold back tears.
I really did love him.
Admitting that…
Is as true to myself as I can be.
But things don’t always work out as planned.
And sometimes…
The girl doesn’t get the guy in the end.
I focus on the pool house…
Forcing myself not to look back.
It’d be too painful—
JayRaina?
RainaYes?
I spin quickly…
Eager for anything he has to say.
When our eyes meet…
He releases a breath, then shrugs.
As if he is letting go of everything.
JayI want you to know…
JayThat I’ve always loved you, too.
He takes a step toward me.
My stomach flips up and over.
Unable to believe what he’s saying.
Can it actually be true?
RainaJay…
He comes up to me…
And runs a knuckle down my cheek.
JayHonestly, it’s always been you.
JayI want you to know that.
We stare into each other’s eyes…
The chemistry that’s there…
That’s always been there…
Is shining bright.
He sucks in a breath…
And as if he can’t hold back any longer:
JayIf I’m being true to myself…
JayThen I need to tell you that I want to kiss you.
I nod breathlessly, and seconds later…
He crashes his lips to mine.
I melt in his arms…
Overwhelmed by the enormity of what I’m feeling.
It’s euphoria…
It’s heaven…
It’s…
He pulls back for just a second…
Resting his forehead against mine.
JayMagic.