TylerNot going out tonight.
Couch GuyThat’s too bad.
TylerGonna stay in and watch porn.
Couch GuyPorn? Didn’t realize we were at that level…
TylerOMG! That text wasn’t meant for you!
Couch GuyNo? Darn.
TylerYou’re the guy who bought my couch earlier—
TylerNot my friend 😳
Couch GuyBut porn does sounds fun. What kind?
TylerUh…
Couch GuyCome on now. Spill.
TylerWhy do you want to know?
Couch GuyYou seemed so shy.
TylerI am. Usually.
Couch GuyI wanna know what a dirty mind a cutie like you has.
TylerOh 😊
TylerIt’s just regular gay porn.
Couch GuyReally?
TylerWhy? What do you watch, Mr. Leather Jacket?
Couch Guy😇 😇 😇
TylerNow I’m curious too…
Couch GuyTell me what you like first…😈
Tyler gulps. He stares at his phone like it might start smoking any second.
Couch GuyCome on, cutie, don’t be shy.
TylerWhy should I tell you what I’m into?
Couch GuyWhy *shouldn’t* you?
Couch GuyNothing to lose except another boring evening…
TylerBut I don’t even know your name 🤔
Couch GuyI told you when I picked up the couch.
TylerOh crap. Did you?
Couch GuyI did.
TylerI’m sorry. I was a bit distracted.
Couch GuyBy?
TylerYour leather jacket. You’re…uh…you.
Couch GuyMe?
TylerYou’re kind of hard to miss, all hulking and brooding…
Couch GuyBrooding?
Couch GuyYou make me sound like a bad rom com hero.
TylerIf the jacket fits…
Couch GuyIt goes better with my motorcycle than the truck I borrowed.
TylerI’ve never been on a motorcycle.
Couch GuyAre you fishing for an invite? 😉
TylerNo! Of course not. I STILL don’t even know your name!
Couch GuyIt’s Xavier.
XavierAnd you’re Tyler. Now we’re properly introduced…
XavierHow about it? What are you into?
Tyler pauses to wrack his brain for something tame.
TylerI like…hands.
XavierI have two. Would you like to see?
Tyler😳 I did notice they were…big.
Xavier sends Tyler a picture of his hand resting on the fly of his black jeans.
TylerThat’s…uh…Wow.
XavierTell me what you want my hands to do to you…
Breathing harder, Tyler bites his lip.
TylerTouch me, I guess.
XavierYou guess? You don’t sound very sure…
TylerI want your hands on my…
XavierYour what?
TylerSorry, cat landed in my lap. Hit send before finishing my thought.
XavierNo worries. Hi, kitty! Now focus, Tyler…
XavierTell me where my hands are headed.
TylerMy…shoulders.
TylerJust to start.
TylerI’m not a fast mover, sorry.
XavierDon’t apologize. I like the shyness—
XavierIt’s like getting to unwrap you bit by bit.
XavierMy hands would like to rub your shoulders.
XavierIs your T-shirt still on?
TylerYeah, it is. Should I take it off?
XavierYou should 😈
Tyler quickly whips off his shirt. His cat looks on disapprovingly.
TylerIt’s off. Now what?
XavierTouch your shoulders and neck for me…
XavierSlowly.
TylerOkay. This feels silly, but good.
XavierWould a real massage feel better?
Tyler’s jaw drops and his eyes go wide.
He doesn’t reply for several moments.
XavierIt was just a thought. No pressure.
TylerThanks. Virtual massages are easier for me.
TylerReal is…complicated.
XavierComplicated like you’re with someone already?
TylerNo, I’m single.
TylerIt’s just…complicated.
TylerBack to neck rubbing, please?
XavierAbsolutely. I would take my time rubbing all the tension out.
XavierI would wait until you asked for more…
TylerMore?
XavierOh yeah. I want you begging me for more.
XavierTell me where you want my hands to move…
Tyler😳 You could touch my chest.
XavierYeah? You sensitive there?
TylerVery.
XavierGood. Send me a picture of your pecs.
TylerMy chest isn’t all that.
TylerI’m not built like you.
XavierHmm…wanna know a secret?
XavierI’m glad you’re not.
XavierSend me the pic.
Tyler reluctantly takes blurry pic of his chest and hits send.
XavierGood. I think you like me giving you orders…
TylerI think you just like being bossy.
XavierThat’s because you love it.
TylerI don’t HATE it.
XavierNice chest BTW. Touch your chest for me. Gently.
TylerThat feels nice. Way nicer than my neck.
XavierYeah? You like that?
TylerYeah. Feels amazeballs.
XavierAmazeballs, huh? 🙂
TylerYeah. Should I touch my chest again?
XavierYes. Harder this time. Go as hard as you think I would.
TylerDamn — that hurts.
XavierDoes it? You think I’d make you ache?
TylerI know you would.
XavierI think you *hope* I would.
XavierI think it makes you feel good just thinking about what I’d do.
TylerSo good.
XavierThink about what my teeth could do to you…
TylerOMG, yes. Tell me more.
XavierI’d nibble and tease you until you were begging for more.
XavierBeg me.
TylerPlease. Please keep going
Tyler🙏 🙌
XavierCute. Move your hand lower…
TylerOh shit. No. No. No.
TylerMy friend is here. BRB.
XavierI’ll be here.
XavierAnd when you get back, I want you to stop teasing me.
XavierI think we both know you don’t *really* have a hand fetish…
XavierAnd that you’re into something else.